Overheard… originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2007-08-01.

Thanks to RMS, nagora, Valdrax, Anonymous Coward, benhocking, and Anonymous Coward

Some things to chew on. originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2007-07-03.

Now, I would never say that Islam is not a religion of peace. Because if you do, they’ll kill you. It’s a religion of peace. There’s a piece of you there. There’s a piece of you over there. But, this little tiff between the Crips and the Bloods over there that’s been going on since 632 A.D., and there are only so many times you can turn the corner before you realize you’re going in circles.

Source

Liberals must stop saying President Bush hasn’t asked Americans to sacrifice for the war on terror. On the contrary, he’s asked us to sacrifice something enormous. Our civil rights. … So -so when it comes to sacrifice, don’t kid yourself. You have given up a lot. You’ve given up faith in your government’s honesty, the goodwill of people overseas, and six-tenths of the Bill of Rights. Here’s what you’ve sacrificed: search and seizure, warrants, self-incrimination, trial by jury, cruel and unusual punishment. Here’s what you have left: hand guns, religion, and they can’t make you quarter a British soldier. If Prince Harry invades the Inland Empire, he has to bring a tent.

Thing Bill Maher has said that I absolutely love. originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2007-03-23.

Words from Elyssa. originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2007-01-29.

Lisa: You’re rude.
Me: You’re ugly.

Becka: I don’t like him.
Me: Why are you laughing, then?
Becka: Ask me if I like him and see if I laugh.
Me: Do you like him?
Becka: *laughs like a hyena*

Becka: I can’t help it that I was born into the trappings of aristocracy.

Me: Your chicken-scratch scribbles don’t impress me.
Becka: But they impress other people!
Me: You mean… CHICKENS?

Anonymous: With that sort of music, no wonder Germany’s recent cultural heritage is the Holocaust.

Thomas Carlyle: No sadder proof can be given by a man of his own littleness than disbelief in great men.

Me: Is it possible that you ask me the same question three times after I tell you I don’t know simply because you find it ridiculous that I wouldn’t know it?
Joanna: No, she finds it so exhillarating that she has to say it over and over.

Quotes for 2006-12-05 originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2006-12-05.

Becka: Why are you using the words “technological singularity” around me? Is it because I’m single? Technologically?!?

Becka: I don’t use that kind of packing paper. That’s my policy.
Me: You don’t get to make policy. That’s my policy.

Eric Schmidt: When the network becomes as fast as the processor, the computer hollows out and spreads across the network.

Courtesy of BadAnalogyGuy, here’s the best-written comments I have ever seen on Slashdot, with the best punchline I’ve seen anywhere for a long time.

Becka: Round to the lowest common denominator! I don’t like you. Leave.

Becka: Where do I put this?
Me: Here.
Becka: Maybe you should have a little bin.
Me: Or maybe YOU should have a little bin.
Becka: What about this: you should have a little bin.
Me: Or perhaps – and I’m just throwing this out there – you should have a little bin.
Becka: Or we could both have a little bin.
Me: Or we could swing it that you have a little bin.
Becka: I think we’re going around in circles here.

Quotes for 2006-11-14 originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2006-11-14.

If I lay here, if I just lay here,
would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Shall we chase some cars? originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2006-11-09.

Steve: What does big stong man type mean?
Me: It’s what I am.
Steve: Stong? What does that mean?
Me: It’s evidence that big strong man types are generally illiterate.
Steve: I love it when you make spelling mstakes!
Me: So does everyone, apparently.
Steve: Its as exhilarating as catching the annoying teachers pet wearing outdoor shoes in the gymnasium!

Dave: I heard Kari got drunk at the Mexican MTV Video Awards and stormed on stage during J-Lo’s performance.

Steve: This is a wise and faithful saying – “You can always tell the importance of a man by the size of the paper shredder sitting beside his desk.”

This is a /. comment.

This is another ./ comment.

Joanna: Say toast ten times really fast.
Me: No.
Becka: Toast toast toast toast toast toast toast toast toast toast.
Joanna: What do you put in a toaster?
Becka: Toast!
Me: Bread.
Joanna: You’re too smart.
Me: I’ve heard it before.
Becka: So have I!

Quotes for 2006-11-08 originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2006-11-08.

Becka: Guess what I got!
Me: A giant pen?
Becka: Yes!
Me: That’s hilarious.
Becka: Why?
Me: Just… a girl with a giant pen.
Becka: Girls can have giant pens too!

Steve: This workplace has its peculiarities. Like one grown man giving another grown man a stuffed Winnie-the-Pooh doll for a birthday gift. And the like.

Steve: It’s the way we operate, I guess. Everyone’s used to me being so awesome.

Beardo the Bearded: Should we show the Diebold Documentary?
Yes: 25%
No: 21%
Republican: 54%

Me: Piss off.
Becka: Yourself.
Me: Your mom.
Becka: Your dad.
Me: Your genealogy and future generations.
Becka: Your infinity and beyond!

Quotes for 2006-11-03 originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2006-11-03.

Adriene: Ah, Bobbitt complaining about women and Dan trying to sort-of pimp out his sisters. Seems like old times!

Becka: Want to hear something disturbing? Apparently I’m missing out on life because I can’t cure this headache by having sex.

Becka: Knock knock.
Me: Who’s there?
Becka: Lemon.
Me: Lemon who?
Becka: Lemonade.

Me: Wow, that’s like an online collaborative tool, except that it’s not online, collaborative, or a tool.
Lisa: It’s a fridge. With magnets. And you’re a tool.

Becka: I don’t need a pimp!

Quotes for 2006-11-01 originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2006-11-01.

Anon: You have to put your foot down, or he’s going to make you his bitch. You’ll suffer in silence until one day you just storm in here and blow him away with a gat. Though I think you’d probably MacGyver his death. You’ll be like “Your honor, he just happened to stick a fork into a toaster hooked up to three-phase power while standing in a bathtub! Honest!”

Laura: EWW
Me: And hello to you too.

Becka: That makes you sounds like a stupid.
Me: Good thing you don’t sound like “a stupid”.
Becka: Good thing YOU don’t sound like a stupid!

Becka: Let’s talk at the same time for a minute
Me: What do you -
Becka: We just had a contemporaneous moment!

Anon: I’m a commitophile with severe execution difficulties.

Quotes for 2006-10-31 originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2006-10-31.

So many comments by analysts and armchair politicians seems to reflect a certain mindset that Google is so blindingly stupid that they bought YouTube for 1.65 billion after a six-week bender, and now their lawyers are crapping their Dockers screaming “oh crap, I forgot! We could get sued!”

Indeed. Remember that Google is full of people who are mostly smarter than you could ever dream of becoming. As is Microsoft. And Apple. And Pixar. Just not the executive branch of the US goverment.

Dang, today is doing well! Quoth Pitchfork:

Ever since The Joshua Tree, way too many bands have tried matching the self-proclaiming transcendence that plenty of otherwise reasonable people find in U2 anthems. New Fat Cat signees the Twilight Sad do to every would-be “With or Without You” what Jimi Hendrix did to “The Star-Spangled Banner”.

I love whoever wrote that with all my heart.

^.^ originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2006-10-10.

The reasons all have run away… originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2006-09-25.

This is how life goes – we send our children into the wilderness. Some of them on the day they are born, it seems, for all the help we can give them. Some of them seem to be a kind of wilderness unto themselves. But there must be angels there, too, and springs of water. Even that wilderness, the very habitation of jackals, is the Lord’s. I need to bear this in mind.

From “Gilead” by Marilynne Robinson.

Another quote from a book. originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2006-09-18.

…it would be better merely to suffer as I had in the past, when other people I loved had left me. I would be better just to lick my wounds, as I had also done in the past. For a while, I’ll think obsessively about her, I’ll become embittered … I’ll try to justify what happened, spend days and night reviewing every moment spent by her side … When I walk down the street, I’ll keep seeing women who could be her. I’ll suffer day and night, night and day. This could take weeks, months, possibly a year or more.

Until one morning, I’ll wake up and find I’m thinking about someone else, and then I’ll know the worst is over. My heart might be bruised, but it will recover and become capable of seeing the beauty of life once more. It’s happened before, it will happen again, I’m sure. When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive …

I want to believe that it is wonderful to be free. Free again. Ready to find my one true love, who is waiting for me and who will never allow me to experience such humiliation again.

Masterful. The quote is from Paulo Coelho’s latest book, The Zahir. It is also complete bullshit.

A quote from a book. originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2006-09-10.

J.D. speaks. originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2006-08-14.

“Perennial human problem: self deception … God looks down at the world and says, ‘They’re not that smart.’ … what he says is if you’re one of these sneaky, super-smart, always manipulating situations to get your way kind of person, God takes special delight in jacking with you. That’s what he says … he knows what you’re thinking. And if you think you’re smarter than he is? You’re wrong.” ~ Mark Driscoll (does this guy know me or something?)

Other people say things. originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2006-07-10.

Anonymous: “Relationships are great, but sometimes they suck. Like right now, it sucks. I mean, it’s amazing, but it sucks, you know?”

Stu (with little yellow forklift): “This is a fifteen hundred pound machine.”
Me: “Don’t drop it.”

Me: “No, really Steve, that $88 goes towards us flushing the toilet every day. It’s called ‘overhead’ ironically enough.”

A few misc quotes from today. originally appeared on We Should See Other Blogs on 2004-08-12.