I got a call a few minutes ago.

Me: Hello, [my company name], Dan speaking.
American (really fast): What sort of cutter grinding do you do?
Me: Just about any that can be done.
American: What kind of machines do you have?
Me (thinking how in the world this will help him): We 10 [machine name]s and…
American: I’m surveying your shop. I hope you don’t mind.
Me (thinking this a telemarketer or something): Sorry, where are you calling from?
American: [company name] about 18 miles across the border. I’m looking to get some cutters reground but maybe I’ll just call back next century. *click*
Me: WTF just happened?

This whole conversation took place in under a minute. It was perhaps the rudest phone call I’ve had in a few months. And of course it had to be an American. *sigh*

The banking industry has, in the last year, lost something like a trillion dollars. A trillion dollars.

This is more money than the banking industry has earned. Ever. And they collectively lost it in a year.

That’s… horrific. But it underlines a bunch of problems with economics today. I’ll list a few of them:

• The separation of commercial and consumer credit put in place after the Depression (remember that trifling episode in economics’ sordid history?) have been eroded. This means that high-risk consumer loans suddenly become feasible, and even desirable.
• Economists and bankers trust models that look into the past to predict the future. Of course these models, no matter how elegant or sophisticated, can’t and don’t predict the future. The nature of the future they’re trying to predict doesn’t fit into a bell curve or a predictive model of any kind. Thus the blind lead the blind and we all suffer for it. This banking crisis seemingly came out of nowhere. The models didn’t predict it. The soothsayers were wrong, and horrendously so.
• Losses in the banking industry are nationalised, but profits are privatised. This is to say that those people who caused this — from the mortgage brokers to the banking CEOs to the economists and their blind faith in radically faulty predictive models — are going to walk away virtually unscathed. These people, all conspiring without their knowledge to lose a trillion dollars, still have their commissions, still have their bonuses, still have their golden parachutes, and still get paid to build ever more beautiful and flawed predictive models. Losses, on the other hand, are under-written and subsidised by the Federal Reserve, and politicians hand out tax cuts and consumer incentives that the will only contribute further to a federal debt that’s already out of hand. The wrong people — you and I — are paying to avoid complete financial disaster and in the meantime subsidising those very people who cause the problem in the first place.

The mortgage brokers, lenders, financial instrument sellers, predictive modellers, CEOs, risk assessment managers, and all those people who contributed to the current financial situation are not getting what they deserve. They are incentivised in the wrong direction. Risky decisions are paid for by the public, except for when the risk pays off, and then private interests benefit.

I know this should trickle down somehow, but how much wealth do we have to lose before we collectively realise something is wrong and stop bailing out the people that are causing the problem.

Maybe we should go back to public floggings. Some bankers and economist scared shitless would be a good thing right now.

My wife just got back from a Premiere Fitness evaluation. This is something they make you do ostensibly for insurance reasons, which is a load of crock, because you’re allowed to use the gym even without the fitness test/evaluation. This is probably because they have a huge backlog of fitness tests to do, but still. It’s a load of crap.

Now, I have to say the gym is nice. The equipment is new, there’s a nice variety of stuff, and you know, it’s a gym. We do our thing.

But my wife was just pressured for 15 minutes or so after the fitness test to buy a bunch of sessions with a personal trainer. Which is really neat: After a gruelling fitness test where you feel terrible about yourself because you’re basically made out of dough, they give you all the stats about exactly how much dough you’re made of, and then proceed to try to sell you an oven.

Guess what: I know how this works. I know how to up-sell. I know where your bread is buttered. It’s selling the extras. It’s like extended warranties at Future Shop. We can barely afford to go the gym as it is, but we’re doing it because we want to feel better about ourselves. We’re not trying to run a triathlon.

We may be out of shape, but we’re not idiots.

I just wanted to make that clear.

From the “50 Cent ban” to today’s ineffectual political posturing on oil prices, I think he’s proven he doesn’t understand the economy or free markets, nor should he be talking about them. Add to that the fact that his copyright positions — rather important for someone who may end up being Sam Bulte’s successor — are nothing more than slightly tweaked talking points drawn directly from American copyright interests. He not only does not seem to understand real, physical economies, but also seems to have missed the boat on intellectual property as well. (And being from his rather chequered political party, it wouldn’t surprise me if he were actually on their payroll.)

That said, Mr McTeague, what solution do you have to record oil prices and record oil profits? Do you have anything constructive to say other than a lot of sound-byte-grabbing hand-wringing? Any suggestions? Do you want to regulate the fuel market more? Or less? Reduce taxes? Make production easier? Keep more oil in Canada? Build refineries? Wean Canada off its absolute dependence on oil? Invest in alternative fuels and energy sources? Give grants to companies building greener cars? Fast-track greener cars so they can get on the road before we all die? Anything?

Nope. Just moaning. It sounds good, and we’re all doing it, but really, this is how the market works. If there really isn’t any reason for oil prices to rise (though there is) other than “unnecessary speculation”, you tell me how to stop that speculation. Give me a plan.

Prices are being driven up by speculation, yes. They always are. This isn’t some new phenomenon that became a bugbear yesterday. But prices are also rising because demand is rising. China, anyone? India? It’s not idle speculation. There is so very much demand and future demand right now. And when prices go up, oil company profits go up for a while and then level off as the price of crude reaches some equilibrium. This is a historical trend. It will happen this time like it always has, but will you hear Dan McTeague saying, “Oh, okay, it’s alright if you only make $400 million. That’s fine. We’re good with that.” Of course not.

We hired a new girl recently. She started this week to general satisfaction of most of the office staff. They’ve been overworked, obviously overworked, and have needed a general labourer for a while.

She’s not the first. In fact, she’s the third person we’ve hired recently to do just this job. This simple job. This ridiculously easy, stupendously uncomplicated job.

The third person. It boggles my mind.

Yet she’s managing to screw up, and not in small things. In gigantic things. In the most elementary of computing processes that most five-year-olds on this planet can handle with ease. Such as not deleting top level directories full of technical drawings that only get backed up every weekend. Such as not simply ignoring warning dialogues and simply clicking “OK”. Such as watching, listening, learning, and doing.

I just… can’t handle it any more. I can’t handle whatever idiots we’re hiring from the idiot factory to do jobs that idiots are supposed to be able to do. I can’t stand the far more idiotic hiring policies that allow these IQ-challenged people into the office. I can’t keep explaining, keep trying to address the fundamental point of failure, keep understanding why they’re not understanding.

If you’re not competent, get a job at Tim Hortons or at a gas station somewhere. And if the skill level of the job offering is higher than pouring coffee and swiping credit cards, seek higher-level employees.

I’m surrounded by almost $50,000 of high-grade computing equipment. We’ll throw down money for these things if there’s even a hint that we might need to have another computer. We buy high-tech machines at the drop of a hat. We still, however, baulk at hiring competent people. We baulk at paying real money for really good people.

How stupid, how ass-backwards is that?

It’s intolerable. I’m a smart guy. Maybe even a really smart guy: I don’t know. And I do a superhuman amount of work around here. Ten hour days, that kind of stuff. And even when I’m at the very end of my tether, there’s more to be done, more that I could do if I wanted. At the end of that tunnel of blase work is the light of the things I would like to be doing. Do I ever get there? No.

I’ve often asked for someone to help me out here. Just to give me a leg up on the stuff that I need to get done. To help me, if you will, get over the hump so I can see level ground again.

Still, I find myself wondering if, should I get my wish, I’ll end up getting what I wanted and hating it. I can only imagine what poor Rebekah must be going through trying valiantly to make something worthwhile from the material she’s given.

If I had to deal with that on top of my work, I don’t know what I’d do.

It wouldn’t be nice, I bet, whatever it was.

The Senate has once again demonstrated that’s it’s hopelessly out of touch with modern technology.

We must protect the children! To do so the government must be given sweeping power to monitor the populace! We won’t use the newfound powers at our fingertips for evil!

Idiots.