Today I’m doing with English what technical people in Germany do with German: making big, long, impressive words.

• Email: binarycommicationoverderinterwebben
• Coffee: blackunbrownuncreamunsugar
• Church: dasopenbiblenraisenvoicenpreacheranten
• Calvinism: bygracemchosencallensavenforgiven
• Blogs: disandatanwhatihadenmylunchenboxenpluswhinen

Browsing source code with Google Code Search. Search for any array of words that means “this is the words code I have ever created”. Examples:

• ircd-hybrid.com/fullhist.php - line 29926 - #undef’d USE_TABLE_CODE this is f*****d*.
• downloads.activestate.com/WebService/PHP/webservice.tar.gz - line 766 - // man is this f****d up. can’t do wsdl like dis!
• Some Freebsd package referring to (of course) Internet Explorer - // ugly hacks for an ugly browser
• gentoo.osuosl.org/distfiles/HTML_Template_Flexy-1.2.3.tgz - line 175 - // wtf does this do
• freshmeat.net/redir/scribus/13994/url_bz2/scribus-1.3.3.9.tar.bz2 - line 1529 - //CB: Stop calling damn GUI code in loading docs! IT doesnt *look* like //this makes a difference apart from being faster, of course.
• www.bullfreeware.com/download/sources/aix43/fltk-1.0.10.tar.gz - line 27 - // Another disgusting X interface, based on code extracted and // purified with great difficulty from XLayerUtil.C

Seriously fun.

Using British slang that either sounds naughty in Canada, or doesn’t sound naughty when it should:

• Hey, can I bum a fag?
• Of course I like your son! He’s a proper little tosser, that one!
• This is my happy sack. Anything that makes me happy, I keep in here.

Inventing plausible-sounding pseudo-executive buzz-phrases. Examples:

• I have integrated this into our pricing meta-structure.
• We need to combine our beta output to reduce chances of triple redundancy.
• A EMI field is interfering with your LAN, causing the bandlength to reach critical theta proportions. Restart your computer.
• Make sure you re-calibrate the negative valence detectors before you leave tonight.

It never fails to leave at least someone smiling.