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I was a different version of myself.
It was dawn, I was on the roof of
a house: the sky seemed like it
was always falling toward me,
but I was never crushed.

It was a different version of this sky.
It is evening, I am projected into
the air on an impossible concrete pad:
I am always afraid I’ll find myself
in the process of jumping off.

This is a different version of a lie
I have told myself many times.
Everything balanced: nothing falls.
And then my body, which knows
no such thing, does it.

• Dance me to the end of love. #
• #boingboing reminds me how much I love #thebooks, though I disagree with #pitchfork about which album is the best. #tags #

When you get older, you’ll start to spell better and use more punctuation. This is so you don’t look like an idiot kid with their idiot kid language.
Sometimes you have to let things slide, even when you think they’re important.
You’ll never have time to do all the things you want to do. You’ll end up doing easy things instead. All the things you want to do are harder than you think.
Everything can be made into a double entendre if you want to. You shouldn’t want to.
Writing things on Facebook and Twitter and your blog is a lot easier than cleaning the house. Clean the house anyways. In fact, clean my house while you’re at it, as I’m busy on my blog.
Danger is usually in your mind. You live in one of the safest periods in human history, hysteria about crime notwithstanding.
Don’t buy a Mac unless you’re a designer. Even then, ponder it deeply. Macs are made of the same plastic and metal as everything else. They fail just as often. They are not the source of your power.
Brush your teeth. Floss. You’ll never regret if you do.
Remember that the world is powered by caffeine and sugar. You know what to do.
Don’t become famous. Being famous is a pain in the ass.
Every time you read the Bible, you’ll find something in it that you never noticed before. Try Proverbs. Good place to start.
Have as few cars as possible. Drive them sparingly. Walk lots. Never buy a new car. Have comfortable shoes.
Get groceries a few times a week instead of once a month. You’ll end up buying more vegetables that way.
A vegetable-heavy stir fry is better for you than a bag of chips or an instant dinner.
The easiest way to control the ingredients of your food is to cook for yourself. Approach cooking as a fun skill to be learned. Take pride in your accomplishments and learn from your mistakes. Don’t loose heart: your mistakes will probably still be edible.
Buy a good knife. Sharpen it often. If it can’t cut a tomato easily, you’re doing it wrong.
Give money to the church even if you don’t like what they’re doing with it. It’s not your money anyway.
Kids need pets. If you have a kid, get them a pet.
Kids need sports. If you have a kid, make them kick a ball around or something. There’s all kinds of value in that.
Tea and coffee are different. Tea is light. Coffee is heavy. Tea is for the evenings, coffee for the morning. There’s no shame in adding dairy to either.
Aspartame is not evil. Some people say it is, but a crazy thing called the scientific method says it’s not.
Vaccinate your children. They’re not going to jump up the autism spectrum if you do. That’s crazy people bullshit. Not vaccinating is terribly selfish.
Always ask, “What if everyone did this?” If the result sucks, don’t do it. For instance, if everyone drove to work in a Hummer.
Don’t be afraid of wasting your time. Don’t listen to crazy people who tell you to rush through life. Chill out. Then do something rewarding.
Read poetry. Moreover, read poetry you don’t immediately understand. There’s an entire world of people who think differently from you.
Stick to your guns. But sometimes don’t.
It’s not really important if people like you, but if everyone dislikes you, you’re probably a jerk.
Don’t listen to this guy who writes things on the internet. He probably doesn’t know that much.
Common sense is crap. Like anything common, it’s worthless. It’s called “herd instinct” and one day when you find yourself in a riot, running out of store with a TV in your arms, I’ll be here to say “I told you so”.
Oxford commas. Use them. And semicolons. They’ll save your life one day.
Don’t argue with idiots. Idiocy is contagious.
Argue with idiots. Take them down a notch.
Clear out a space where you can listen to music uninterrupted. Buy a record and listen to it all the way through. Really listen.
Put your keys in the same place every time. This way you won’t lose your keys.
Don’t throw recycling in the trash bin. Try to be a good citizen.
The greatest rebellion of all is to check out of the system of rebellion altogether, but that’s the one rebellion the system won’t tolerate.
If you ever do manage to check out of the system, they’re going to watch what you do and try to sell it to other people. Don’t get mad; why should you care?

• Okay so the clogged toilet is bothering me now. #
• Both #Hank and #TheMiddle suck and should be cancelled immediately. #
• I just sniffed some glue. It wasn't very good smelling. I don't know why the Indians like this so much. #
• Well, that's going to set Letterman/Human relations back a few decades. #
• Rio vs Chicago: one is a drug-infested shithole run by crime lords and robber barrons… and the other one's in Brazil. #
• No, "I'll take you to the pet store… if you know what I mean" is not something I want to hear you say. Sorry. #
• Oh hey, Friday, thanks for all the love. But I'm leaving you. That's right. Leaving! #
• "9/11 was pretty much the 9/11 of the Falafel business."
  #community #

Hi. I’d like to see you sometime if that would be possible.

Of course, the logistics
are an issue what with
the extra shifts
I hate to take this
week.

So… you think we are trying too hard to make something happen that is not there?

Yes, and you can tell
because the best songs
fell out of my mouth
like sand. Hand
me some.

I just got home and got your email, I had made different plans anyways for tonight.

It should be the end
of every sentence,
that we just missed on
trains that almost kiss
that way (and this).

Do you even have any friends like that? I have at least one or two.

What you want is to be
the ear that bleeds freely
for free. Eye that reads
me. I’m touched,
see?

• Heard around the house: "This room smells weird." … "Maybe it's the bowls filled with old chicken." #
• Walk a mile in another man's shoes… and your feet will probably smell pretty weird. #
• I wish Facebook had a moderation system like Slashdot does. +1 Insightful? I like to think so. Even if just personally, not publically. #