Becka: What are those tubes in your ears? F-something.
Me: You mean Eustachian tubes.
Becka: Yeah those.
Me: You’ve confused them with fallopian tubes.
Becka: Pervert!
Me: What have you been doing with your ears?

Lisa: You’re rude.
Me: You’re ugly.

Becka: I don’t like him.
Me: Why are you laughing, then?
Becka: Ask me if I like him and see if I laugh.
Me: Do you like him?
Becka: *laughs like a hyena*

Becka: I can’t help it that I was born into the trappings of aristocracy.

Me: Your chicken-scratch scribbles don’t impress me.
Becka: But they impress other people!
Me: You mean… CHICKENS?

Anonymous: With that sort of music, no wonder Germany’s recent cultural heritage is the Holocaust.

Thomas Carlyle: No sadder proof can be given by a man of his own littleness than disbelief in great men.

Me: Is it possible that you ask me the same question three times after I tell you I don’t know simply because you find it ridiculous that I wouldn’t know it?
Joanna: No, she finds it so exhillarating that she has to say it over and over.

Tags: humour, quotes