Just in case you were somehow led to believe that cashiers and clerks all around the world had suddenly become consciencious between this and my last post in this series, you would be pretty much wrong. Sorry, people taking mind-altering drugs and/or licking frogs.

No, things are the same as always: I scribble something on the paper after they’ve given me my card back, and everyone’s happy, unless someone actually looks at what’s on that paper, in which case they’ve already given you your card (hopefully!) and you don’t get your butt hauled down to the police station for some time in a cell while cops examine your ID and credit history.

So the other day, I at with my friend Nick at this fish and chips place just around the corner from my place. Great food, nice ambiance. Terrible service. So I decided to pay with credit and insult them by signing the receipt thus:

Like, not only am I Willy Wonka, but I’m terribly excited to be him. Because of the chocolate and candy and stuff. Now any cashier in her right mind can tell that I’m not really Willy Wonka, because I don’t really like chocolate. Duh. I mean, really people.

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