You hear stories all the time about people who use unsigned credit cards, sign wierd things, or just generally make a mockery of the system. It’s been done on the internet before, I know. Someone pays for a purchase with a credit card, signs a totally ridiculous signature, and posts it on the web.

But I just have to do it for myself. The tricky part is finding a corner store or whatnot that does two things: sells good coffee and also uses double sheets of paper so I at least get to keep what I’ve signed.

Luckily, I have one right by my house. Just one catch: no coffee. A pretty horrible little Shell station run by people that really don’t care much about anything, including their horrible little Shell station. So I figured it would be the ideal place to begin. And begin I did.

As you can see, I signed it with one of those catch phrases the Matrix spawned when I was yet a teenager. And nobody even looked at it. In fact, the girl gave me my credit card back before I had signed the receipt.

Also this morning, I was talking to this guy that regularly hangs out at the local Esso I buy my coffee at, talking about the man who lit himself on fire in the back of a rental van yesterday. And sometimes, I’ve wondered to myself why the man doesn’t have a car, why he’s maybe 50 years old and takes the bus to work every morning and spends at least twenty minutes in the morning dawdling around an Esso Station. But what he said explained all that. He said, “Now they’re blaming the cops. The cops should have had their marshmallows and weiners out and toasted them on him. Why didn’t they just shoot him or something?” Which I guess explains why he has a dead-end, low-paying job. Because he’s an utter moron. I mean, what do you say to a guy like that?

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