Feel free not to care much about this if you will, but drinking coffee — though it’s a liquid — is a self-defeating proposition due to the fact that it somehow steals water from your body. So no matter how much you consume, there’s always a need for just as much if not more water, thereby increasing your liquid intake, no matter which way you slice it. If you’re like me and enjoy eating, this means that you are already full by the time you get to a meal, and that just steals all the joy away from it. On the other hand — give up coffee? What? That’s crazy talk. So, I suppose eating just has to go.

Goodbye, eating. I knew him, Iago.

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