Oh, what an encouraging day. Not for me, for you. You get to be encouraged by reading about what makes me happy: either that, or you get to tell me to bugger off, skip the entire post, and order a pizza.

Things That Make Me Happy

1. My girlfriend. For those of you who don’t have a girlfriend (like for instance if you post a lot on /.), or who are girls yourselves, let me take a minute to explain why it’s wonderful to have a girlfriend. And if you’re a girl, please instead visualise having a man friend. And if you’re of any other persuasion, go watch Will and Grace or something. I will attempt to explain this mystery without using any antique Middle Eastern expressions like “fire of my soul”, “apple of my eye”, or “floppy disk of my appendix”. Except that I can’t quite spell it out, so just take my word for it: it’s really good.

2. Coffee. It wakes me up in the morning. It warms my innards when my innards are something other than warm. It makes my life worth living, except not really.

3. That I am not my own but belong unto my faithful savior, Jesus Christ. I think Mr Stel made me memorize that one. Now I can’t forget it; thank you Mr Stel, Heidelberg Catechism-bearing monster (though I mean that in the best way). In other news, I can still quote Romans 12 to you if you’d like. These are all good things, really.

4. My girlfriend. Though this sounds vaguely familiar, I think I’ll go on another comedic romp through that land of candyfloss and flowers and soul-sucking vampires known as “LOVE”. Or, alternately, I could imagine a bunny with a pancake on its head. So much easier.

5. Paycheques. In fact, I was just musing how if I converted my entire paycheque into pennies, it would fill something enormous, like a babies shoe. If the baby was a midget, or a doll.

6. Christmas. I love the fact that Christ was born. I love the people that took the holy day and turned it into a pagan festival of gluttony and materialism much the same way Greenpeace loves oilwells that have been built on the razed remains of ancestral forests that once housed Bambi.

7. Technology. Can you imagine a day when one toasted bread over an open flame, an open flame that wasn’t, like, connected to the internet?

8. Truth. I love truth. And that’s the truth. Thus, the truth being that I love truth, I must then love the truthfulness of the truth that I love truth. Unless of course I don’t really love truth, in which case the the truth that I love truth is a lie, although that doesn’t guaruntee that I love the lie of loving truth. But I prefer to believe that in truth, I love the truth that I love the truth. That’s like two layers of truth, right there.

9. Cake. Rumor Forum people, run amok. Thank you.

10. Driving. You can tell I belong to my family that way. However, unlike the rest of my family, I spend most of my driving time actually driving, not smashing into trees, buildings, other cars, and the odd cow. Nor do I drive on the wrong side of the road in a snowstorm. I also don’t exceed 60kph going in reverse, Elyssa, aka MY FENDER YOU JUST DROVE INTO MY FENDER!!!

Also, there is one thing I don’t like.

One Thing I Don’t Like

1. Everything else. HA HA HA. I was just kidding. Actually, it’s chocolate.

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