Above is my broad thesis statement, and you are looking at it and devising ways to convince me that I should care what you think. Well let me tell you something (and please, I’m not trying to be rude: this is just the way it is), and that something is that I need to have a reason to care what you think before I think about caring what you think. If you give me one, I will care what you think.

For instance, if you happen to be in a close relationship with me, I care what you think. On a scale of one to ten, you get a ten. If you are my girlfriend, or my sister, or my best friend, I listen to you, because what you think matters to me: I care about you.

However, if you are in a close relationship to me, and you have constantly proven yourself to be a crackpot, I pick very carefully which bits to care about. You get a conditional eight.

No reason to stop now: if what you think has a profound influence on my life (for instance, if you are my pastor, my elder, my girlfriend’s father, or my life coach) I care what you think, most of the time. And you can probably make me care by force if you are in any of these positions, but that’s a really bad plan. Or you can persuade me that what you think is right: best plan out there. Or you can do a little bit of both. Not a bad plan, and I’ll probably see where you’re coming from, especially if you place some scripture in my hands. I give you an eight.

On the other hand, if you happen to be a raving right-wing nuclear afficianado, I will probably disregard this. I give you a zero.

This much I know. I am not an island, or a boat set adrift on the sea of my own opinion. If you want to see what that looks like, read Slashdot for more on people that think themselves the masters of their destinies (hint: they unconditionally hate Microsoft, George W. Bush, and Christian fundimentallists). I, however, am still a product of my influences. And if you are a person I respect — even though I may not agree with you — you have already influenced what I think. Congratulations, Douglas Wilson, you have profoundly shaped what I think. Kudos also flow to Derek Webb, Dan Haseltine, Augustine, Mssr Calvin (the theologian), Dr James MacDonald, and Ravi Zacharias. I don’t agree with these people all the time, but they have strongly influenced who I am. That group of men get a seven.

However, if you are an American Christian Fundimentalist Gay Basher, you get a conditional zero: that is to say, sometimes I don’t care what you think, and other times what you think makes me angry.

As it happens, I also don’t exist outside of community. In fact, I will go so far as to say that community as a whole shapes who you really are. There will, as always in all circles, be those in the community I respect more, and respect less, but I still love you people and want to also honor you by caring about your conscience. Which explains, of course, why I don’t have that lovely lip piercing that I so much liked. And why I don’t listen to loud rock music at parties when I know people will be uncomfortable with it; you’re still wrong, mind you, and Radiohead is still spinning in my spare time, but let me at least try to not lead you into listening to Radiohead with your murky conscience.

But let’s face it, if you’re a guy off the street, I really only care about your opinion if you happen to not be giving your opinion; that is to say, if you can convince me (it’s not hard, really!) that you’re actually right. And if you care enough to do that without driving me bonkers by insisting that Yes, Bush is the Mouthpiece of God; or that No, Bush is the Antichrist and Should Be Shot; or by being abusive; or by shouting out, “The end of the world is nigh, sinners!”

So I guess you could say that the title to this post was rather misleading. Sorry about that. But creating controversy for people that don’t like to read the entire post is rather fun.

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In other news, I’m pretty sure that our Reformed circles could use a good dose of future hope. Nothing against our circles, mind you, but there’s always room for improvement. Yes, I actually just wrote that. Wow, I am such a rebel.

Anyways, look at Romans 8. I’m sure you’ll be gratified to know I didn’t just pull that out of my Happy Grab Bag of Random Opinions and decide to propigate it all across the world wide web. That is to say that as Christians, our desire to become more Christlike is not merely is not merely a response to the past actions and grace of Jesus: it’s also a response to the firm assurance that there is a future hope. And that hope isn’t something I picked out of Paul’s Happy Grab Bag… well, you get the idea.

The past is a good thing. It had Jesus, Calvin, the Reformation, and catapults. But not only is the past a good thing, but the future is a good thing, because it also has Jesus, Calvin, more reformation, and mini-catapults known to children everywhere as “slingshots”. It also holds the promise that I will one day shed this horrific skin of imperfection, and inhabit a new, glorified earth filled with the presence of God and the absence of any desire to eat forbidden fruit, covet my neighbor’s oxen, or have sex with my neighbor’s wife.

Side note: for any children reading this blog, sex is how babies happen; it’s a biological function that happens (apparently) to be a great deal of fun, and was given to mankind so that he could fill the earth — good job with that, mankind! It was also given to mankind so that mankind would enjoy itself on earth, much like wine was given to mankind. Wine, women, and toasters that connect to the internet. All these things are good things. Also: tomatoes.

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The Supreme Court of Canada has given legislature the go-ahead to legalize gay marriage. And by “gay” I do not mean that marriages may not be a happy affair filled with laughter, wine, and later, sex; rather, I mean that homosexuals will soon be granted the “right” to be recognized as married couples.

You might expect me to be furious about this ruling. I am not. In fact, I am ambivilant. I ask this: do you not expect the heathens to act like heathens?

The country of Canada, as wonderful as it may be with its hockey, Sleeman Cream Ale, and beavers, is still a secular country founded by a bunch of guys who were nominal Christians at best. It is not founded on scripture any more than the USA is founded on scripture. In fact, the best I can say about Canada and the US is that both countries were founded amidst a sort of misplaced Enlightenment idealism that has now lead us to such things as Buying a New Television Yearly, Supersizing Our Mc”Meal”s, Pop Music That All Sounds the Same, and The New Religion of Tolerance.

Yay for the founding fathers; I feel like moving to China, the next Christian nation.

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