Yesterday, I stabbed myself in the hand with a screwdriver. A Phillips screwdriver. Right inbetween my finger and thumb, in that fleshy bit that resembles the webbing between a duck’s toes, excep not really.

Did it go through, you might ask? No, because it went straight down, but thankfully missed any important vital organs such as my kidneys and small intestine. On the other hand (so to speak) if this heals right, I’ll have a convenient place to store pens and stick candy.

I was at work, see, working, and I decided that I should adjust the settings on a coolant hose had recently detatched itself from the machine. I used a screwdriver that was too small. You think that all star head screwdrivers will unscrew a star head screw right? (With the obvious exception of the screws used to hold down the earth’s tectonic plates — since they’re the size of the space shuttle and/or Rita MacNiel.) Well if that’s what you think, you’re wrong.

There are different sizes, and Phillips screwdriver manufacturers take great pains to make sure that if you have a desire to drive in every size of Phillips screw, you’ll have to leave Home Depot — because let’s be honest, there’s at least seven different sizes that Home Hardware doesn’t carry — with thirty-one different screwdrivers, or a pipewrench if you ask for assistance from one of their highly-trained associates. Associates, I might add, who are really “employees” with fancy names, but who managed to pass the Home Depot Prospective Employee Quiz with flying colours, answering such questions as

• Can you breath? (Mandatory)
• Can you walk? (Mandatory)
• Can you speak English? (Not Mandatory)
• Can you recognize the difference between a 2×4 and a lightbulb? (Not Mandatory, but Somewhat Desirable)

But I digress, severely.

Let it suffice to say that my pain was great, along the order of having my hand covered in Napalm. However, the pain has abated, although I did gnaw my thumb off during the night.

Also, Lisa and Eric are engaged.

No tag for this post.