So today, I go back to blogging about normal things that involve my life and interplanetary politics, instead of satire pieces about crude language and the religious right of America’s heartland.

I had a good weekend.

On the other hand, interplanitary politics are a bit more interesting; the only problem is that Google has still not implemented its “Zorga to English” filter, making me have to translate all these things by myself.

Here’s a revenue generation idea for the government: make all but ten of every parking lot’s spaces into handicapped spots. Have the ten that aren’t handicapped spots somewhere in a dark, cramped corner of the parking lot. Make sure people know there aren’t any cameras there, so the only people that will park in them belong to various militias and even they’re wary. Then, when people park in the handicapped spots, just ticket them instead of towing.

But really, isn’t it a crime how far Americans have to walk to get into stores? Think, that fifteen extra seconds could be spent doing something productive, like playing video games or killing neighborhood cats. After all, Americans are certainly fit and attractive enought that they don’t need all that extra walking: for crying out loud, install a moving sidewalk!

My girlfriend’s little sisters and brothers did my hair in ponytails while I was beating her at chess last night. It’s odd, but I think they see me as a large, soft plaything to abuse at their lesure. The hair is still missing in patches. However, even with that disturbing act in progress, I still managed to beat her at the game she loves so well, chess. I don’t know if she loves it so well. Maybe she just wants to beat me, but knows she can’t. Beat me. Ever.

And, now back, to your regularly scheduled programming. (You’re being programmed by the government, and I’m the only one wearing a tinfoil hat. That’s right.)

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