I have no fresh thoughts on worship today, and frankly, I doubt I ever will. I’m pre-occupied while reading a book called “The Heart of Christianity: Rediscovering a Life of Faith”, which has become, within the first few pages, a deconstructionist’s treatise on why he doesn’t believe the Bible is literally true, and why that doesn’t matter. Some things that the “new paradigm” Christianity is characterized by:

• Woman’s ordination
• Homosexual relationships and/or marriage and/or ordination
• Religious nonexclusivism, i.e. the belief that there is more than one way to salvation
• Non-literal interpretation of the scriptures

All of which are rank blasphemy, or at least grave errors. The book makes me want to cry, but also makes me want to burn things. Like, for instance, the book.

In other, more encouraging news, I’m sponsoring a child with Come Over and Help. I send some money, get a photo, get a letter, and get the warm fuzzies. Co-incidentally, the kid I’m sponsoring also gets the warm fuzzies, mostly because of clothing and heating and those sorts of things. Also, food. Something I take for granted, that Campbell’s soup just comes out of a can, goes into a plastic container, and finally rests somewhere in my nether regions.

Well, here’s something I wrote about semis last night on the Rumor Forum (ever notice how if you hit the letter beside “r” on the keyboard, it becomes the Tumor Forum?):

I always imagine that the fuel tanker beside me is driven by a stressed-out obsessive compulsive, and a bee suddenly hits his windshield, annoying him so much that he swerves into my lane, blowing my car into little bits. Then I imagine that he’s just one in a *covoy* of fuel trucks coming from the refinery, and his explosion causes a chain reaction that reaches all the way back to the refinery, then up the pipeline to Alaska, then from Alaska to the very depths of the earth, causing an overload in internal combustion that sets the earth’s tectonic plates to begin to shift. The plates shifting cause the earth’s orbit to start to wobble, and the earth falls into the sun, taking a few minor planets with it. Then the sun goes supernova, causing the entire galaxy to be engulfed in thermo-nuclear turmoil, eventually involving the entire universe.

But Captain Kirk finds a way to stop it, if Xena doesn’t first. So it’s all good.

I hope you all enjoyed that. After all, I enjoyed writing it.

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