I’m calling the Office of the Resistrar about my birth certificate right now. I applied for it in February, and they took the money off my Mastercard, so something’s been processed. But I haven’t gotten anything yet. So I’m stuck on the phone with nothing to do but wait while they decide to answer my call.

The funny thing is, they have this answering machine service that’s voiced by a man who sounds like he’s got peanut butter stuck on the roof of his mouth. It takes about ten minutes to navigate their system alone, not including the time waiting on hold, and most of this because of how slow this man is talking. They should have service in English, service in French, and service in Mentally Challenged.

Once you do actually get to the point where a real person is talking to you, trust me, you will be on hold for forever, and when forever is over, you’ll still be on hold. It’s like the rapture happened and only the office of the registrar is affected. So normally when you’re on hold, they play music for you, right? Well, the office of the Registrar has music that would make John Tesh blush; not only that, they won’t actually let me enjoy an entire song. At least once every minute a recording surfaces with at least five seconds of pause inbetween, just to tell you that you are still on hold. Yes, I know I’m still on hold, and give me back my exotic saxophone music!

Maybe if they played nationally known bands such as Godspeed You! Black Emperor, or The Arcade Fire, or something like that, I wouldn’t mind this so much. I swear, there is nothing keeping me on this phone except the prospect of one day escaping this horrible country.

I will now proceed to pray that God gives me patience, for the birth certificate query, for the eventual discussion with a thick-headed civil servant, and for waiting to leave the country and flee to the US and religious freedom.

Speaking of religion, some of Bush’s recent quotes about religion are pretty disheartening, at least for those of you that were expecting some sort of revival because the president was a supposed Christian. Unfortunately, it seems that his Christianity is about as realistic as every other “Christian” president; as RumorSage said,

“It appears to me that the faith-lives of both Clinton and Bush are essentially the same; both seem to subscribe to the vague, American-revivalistic traditional pietism that restricts religiousness to “personal Bible study and prayer” with little care for doctrine. When your Bible reading is detached from worldview formation, you are ripe from absorbing your worldview from the pluralistic culture.”

Back to the birth certificate issue: they searched without a space. Crazy freaky wierdos. So they’re going to send it out within the week. Sw33t!

No tag for this post.