Me: “Okay, Steve. Guess what this pill is. Hint: it’s made from the shells of oysters.”
Steve: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Come on, Steve, there’s only on thing in oyster shells.”
Steve: Oysters?

Becka: “Oh! I just said the p-word! Bad Becka!”

From the Internet: “Microsoft isn’t like the Borg Collective. The Borg Collective has proper networking.”

Annonymous: “Why exactly does the saying go, don’t look the gift horse in the mouth? What exactly does one tell by looking at a horse’s mouth? I can see it now, the stable owner walking in and going, ‘By George, look at the teeth on this thing! He could eat a tree! Let’s buy ‘im!’ I mean, you buy a horse so you can ride it, no? That would make the saying, ‘Don’t look the gift horse in the legs.’ On second thought, the Victorians probably thought that was lewd.”

Steve: *looking at me wearing my sister’s hat* “I think your hat shrunk in the sun.”
Me: “Actually, my head swelled from all the women’s adoration.”

Me: “Did you wear a cape and stop speeding trains in your spare time?”

Annonymous: “I’m trying to think of something dumber than a brick.”

Lisa: “And he’s good with kids in his own awkwards sort of a way…”

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