So last night I’m driving home from Ancaster, exiting the QEW/403 combo to the Ford Drive/403 offramp, when I see a Ford Focus ZX3 execute a bizzare (but not unheard-of) cross-highway lane-change to get onto the same exit. Now, seeing that we’re not the most common cars on the highway — whole lot more sedans than hatches, you understand — we feel a certain gas-pedal-pressing kinship. And so we do this racing thing down the highway for a while, until my conscience got the better of me, and I pulled onto the Hwy 10 offramp. Those things got the better of me.

But the thing that got me, on that highway, is that at night, all the slow driver don’t drive in the right lane like they do during the day, but right in the freaking middle of the highway. So that the cars going faster than they are (such as everyone else) have to either pass on the left and congest the entire highway while doing, or pass on both the left and the right, one of which is illegal. Point #2: if you are a defensive driver, remember that defensive driving does not mean timid driving. Timid driver make other people have accidents, because their actions are almost impossible to predict. If you don’t know what to do in a dangerous situation, you are the dangerous situation. You’re just waiting to happen. Point #3: immigrants should not be allowed to drive unless they know how, regardless of whether their buddy works at the licencing office or not. I mean, I have no problems with immigrants. They can come if the government wants to let them. But for goodness sake, there are so many of them in Mississauga that can’t drive worth six beans and a hoola hoop that it’s getting out of hand. When you see three cars across three lanes driven at -60 kph by three men wearing three garish turbans, it’s time to tell them that they’re not in India any more, and it’s most likely that they won’t hit a cow if they go too fast. Sorry about the blatant racial steriotyping there… Point #4: If you are a woman, get off the road.

Okay, that last one was a joke. I know quite a few excellent female drivers. And yes, I’m talking to you, hot stuff. ;)

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